


the kind of person

by chocoban



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5949195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocoban/pseuds/chocoban
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk wanted to love everyone so, so much. They didn't know why they couldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the kind of person

Frisk hadn't hesitated when they were asked to be the ambassador of all monsters. Of course they would! They loved monsters more than anything in their whole life.

And, as soon as they were alone, Frisk begged Toriel to let them stay with her. They cried tears of joy when she eagerly accepted.

With all these great friends and a wonderful new life, they could have never been happier.

* * *

 

Was what they thought.

Everyone loved them. They should have been happy.

But they weren't. They didn't understand it. They stopped feeling inspired by Papyrus' optimism and Undyne's raw spirit. They stopped laughing at Sans' bad jokes. They stopped bantering with Alphys, and they stopped going out to garden with Asgore.

Frisk knew it wasn't their friends' fault. The only one who had stopped loving back was...

They stopped going outside. They left their phone on mute, stuffed it under the bed, and let the messages build up. Even though they hardly left their room, Toriel still took care of them. And they still loved Toriel back, because they had always loved Toriel. She was their most favorite person in the whole world.

They started to wonder if they might stop loving Toriel, too.

* * *

 

Frisk reset.

They wanted a blank slate, a chance to start over. For a little while, Frisk felt guilty about it, but then again

meeting everyone again felt so good.

They laughed again. They enjoyed themselves. They had a good time.

It was just this once, they told themselves. I just needed to remember what it was like, and then I'll never reset ever again.

That wasn't true. That wasn't true at all.

* * *

 

Frisk reset. They reset a lot of times.

They justified it to themselves. They always did it the same way every time; it wasn't like they ever hurt anybody. They were still the same, lovable dork as always, no matter how many times they went back. And having that love back, the love they felt for their friends, was worth it.

(But every reset, they felt that love a little less.

They were so, so scared.)

* * *

 

Frisk was never that close to Mettaton. They never managed to get any closer, no matter how many resets they went through, no matter how long they stayed on the surface.

Maybe that was why he was the first one they decided to kill.

They didn't mean for it to be permanent. They were just curious, and Frisk was going to go back to their last save, anyway.

But as they watched Alphys run over to his shattered corpse, Frisk felt something strange well up in their soul.

They went back to the hotel. They didn't want to go forward yet, anyway. They wanted to go back and rest, maybe stock up on some food.

They didn't expect to see the employees fret over their old boss. They never knew how badly the fans would mourn the last airing of his show.

Frisk felt like crying.

Was this love, too?

* * *

 

Frisk reset again.

They killed Undyne. They were surprised at how the monsters barely seemed to notice her death, even the ones who loved her the most. Papyrus didn't know. Alphys didn't even know. For the heroine who died so unceremoniously, Frisk almost felt pity for her. But they also felt love for her, all over again.

They killed Papyrus. It was easier than they hoped it would be. But seeing Snowdin's residents reminisce about the skeleton, watching Sans grieve... It made Frisk love them all over again.

They killed Toriel. It wasn't the first. But it felt like they lost something more this time, killing her on purpose. The only person there to mourn her was Frisk, and when they saw the empty fireplace, it made their heart constrict painfully in their chest.

But this too, was love.

* * *

 

No matter how many times they reset, it was never enough.  
  
The worst part was what Sans had to say to them, in the end. It always stung, even as Frisk felt less and less. But that just made it worth it.

* * *

 

"If we're friends, then..."

Frisk wanted to explain. Of course they were friends! They wanted to scream it out, that this was why they had done all this in the first place. They did this because they loved him, and they loved Papyrus, and they loved everyone too, and that's why Frisk killed them all. That's why Frisk kept coming back.

But... that's creepy.

Frisk just tried to enjoy themselves. They always rooted for Sans, deep down, so Frisk couldn't help but die smiling. He deserved to have his revenge. Frisk deserved to be at the brunt of it.

When they watched him crawl off to die, when they heard him call out to his brother one last time, they choked down another sob. It was all so worth it.

Their LOVE reached the max.

* * *

 

They reset.

It was only because when Flowey was trembling in front of them, begging for their life, Frisk thought maybe, just maybe, they had gone too far.

Flowey seemed disappointed. Frisk wondered why.

More than that, Frisk wondered how long it would be before they killed him, too.

* * *

 

Frisk grew tired of wondering, as they wandered through the underground for what must have been the hundredth time.

They hadn't had the courage to go through with it again, but they couldn't stop thinking about what they had done. Those words kept repeating in their head, and it ached so much. They wished they could stop thinking. They wished they could just rest.

"You're the kind of person who won't ever be happy," they whispered to themselves, just so they could get it out of their head. But it wouldn't leave them, like an echo flower had grown straight into their skull.

That was something they had always admired about Sans. His words cut straight to the bone.

God. Was that a pun? Frisk hadn't meant that.

Frisk hadn't meant a lot of things.

* * *

 

Oh god. _He_ had thought Toriel would make him feel again. _They_ had thought they would love Toriel forever.

The irony was not lost on them.

* * *

 

"You never gained any LOVE, but you gained love. Does that make sense?"

Frisk would have laughed, but it wasn't funny.

* * *

 

They turned down being the ambassador. Papyrus was much better suited for it, anyway.

It hurt more to leave Toriel behind, but they couldn't stay. She deserved so much better, and besides. They had places to go.

The picture was a nice memento, though.

* * *

 

Not a single monster remained in the underground. Flowey had resigned himself to the emptiness of the ruins. It was fine. It didn't matter. He deserved this anyway.

He had not expected Frisk to come back after all this time.

Frisk sat on the ground next to him, blank-faced as always.

"Howdy, Frisk," Flowey said, smiling. "You thought you'd give little old me a visit?"

He grimaced. "Don't you have anything better to do? Spare me your pity. Go visit your _real_ friends or something."

"I'm not going back," Frisk said.

Flowey looked offended. "Are seriously still you trying to save me? Just give up already."

"No, that's not it. I need to... If I stay with them, I'm just going to..." Frisk gave Flowey a pained expression. "You really can't remember, can you?"

The sun was still shining on the flowers where Frisk first fell.

"...How many times?"

Frisk didn't want to respond.

Flowey shook their head. "Never mind. I already guessed that this might have happened."

The two of them were quiet for a moment.

"I don't want to do it all again, Asriel," they whispered, breaking the silence.

They felt vines wrap gently around their hand.

The two of them stayed like that for a long while.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know how to write


End file.
